The Man I Wanna Be

I had a powerful moment in my reflection time with God yesterday. I was just talking with him about all of the weaknesses in my life, and all the areas I need to work on. He asked me a question... He said "Tell me about the man you want to be?" So I began. I spoke audibly all of the things I wanted to become.

I want to be a man more dedicated to devotional times in prayer and scripture study. I want to be a man who wears multiple hats in the gifts & talent department. I want to be a man that chooses his words carefully, and always thinks before responding with words, or body language. I want to be a man who is happy with the physical shape he is in... I want to be a man with many friends, just to be one of "the guys." I want to be a man who digs for knowledge and searches for wisdom. A man who has a genuine fear of God. A man who is unafraid to slay his pride in an effort to discover truth, to willingly admit what I don't know, and not to be afraid to go to those who know... A man whose life is lived as an Epic Adventure, one that could inspire and motivate... To become what ancient civilizations called "A Warrior Poet."

It was a much longer list than what is given above. I think it may have taken me an hour to get it all out. Then, I laid flat on my back on the floor, and waited for God to respond. In the most subtle, still voice in my thinking, I felt God speak to me, and say "What's stopping you?" The truth was that I had doubt in my heart. I doubted that I could be or do any of those things, and I had no desire to put forth the effort to try... But God is such a great coach. He can motivate you, and make you work for something, and frequently remind you of how bad you first wanted it. And he did just that... He slapped me on my back, and in the coach of a voice he can have said "Let's go to work boy!" Although I may not accomplish everything on that long list, it was clear to me that the man I wanna be will never be half the man that I will be. Because that man exists in my imagination, and is trapped in the figment of my human mind. But the man I will be is charged by a God, and motivated by the Holy Spirit. And the creativity of God is measureless, much more so than an image that I could conjure about the man that I wanna be....